Monday, November 14, 2011

My super y alter ego and me?

Usually I'm a really shy, introverted, low-self esteem guy, who wears a serious loathsome "woe is me" face everywhere I go so I wanted to change myself. Specifically I want to get this girl to like me. I'm in my senior year now. One day I was combing my hair after a shower back to its normal and usual style, but after drying off with a towel, I discovered a new look, one that seem to have changed my entire appearance somehow. So I tried experimenting with it a bit, and changed my facial expression from LSE with gles to y grin with cooler looking eyes without gles. So I wore that hairstyle to school the next day and through the course of the week, I've been getting a lot more attention from more girls at school which raised my confidence, which ultimately changed me into to a person with more self-esteem and gave me courage to be able to engage in a normal conversation with other people, which I was never able to do before. Well I have finally got the attention of a girl I like and we became friends over the week. Problem is every time I look in the mirror, I think it is someone else and begin envying and even hating my super y alter ego, thinking that he's insulting me and trying to make me the inferior! Other times, I would go gay for what I see in the mirror like those guys who spend hours staring at themselves. Then the next week, I decided to revert back to my original hairstyle seeing as how I was becoming more envious and hateful of my super y alter ego, but without it, I somehow reverted back to my old self. People still talk to me like when I was in my alter ego form, but now I can't interact with others like I use to. What do I do with my old self? Throw it away? The old me had no place in this world anyways...I feel like I'm throwing away a piece of myself and letting some jerk *** punk take over my life, but it is for the best right? Should I stay in my alter ego form forever? What do I do?

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